Independence and limited worldview – by Lei

Recently we took Jaiden to an amazing aquarium where we saw emperor penguins, big jelly fish, sea horse, etc. There were so many cool things that we felt like we didn’t have enough time to see everything.

One part of the aquarium, we had a chance to walk in a tunnel with all kinds of amazing sea creature swimming above and beside us. I put Jaiden on my shoulders to ensure he got the best view. To my disappointment, Jaiden kept on wiggling asking to let be down so he can walk on his own. He kept on repeating one of his recent favorite phrases 自己走 which mean “let me walk by myself”. Jaiden loves to run around on his own and this is a great trait. However this time, I knew at his height would limit his view to many of the interesting sights. When I refused to let him down, he kicked and screamed. Both Diana and I tried to explain to Jaiden that being held and walking with Daddy was the best thing for him as it would ensure he can have the full experience the amazing exhibits.

While talking to Jaiden, it dawn on me that he may not understand us. He does not have our experience or worldview. In his limited understanding, many of the fun moments in life have come while he was running around by himself. Jaiden has never been in an aquarium so there is no way he can comprehend the possibilities of he could see.

Jaiden’s childish behavior is not limited to a 2 year old. In my life I often insist that I know what is best for me even though my worldview is limited. I have done something a certain way and it was fun so I insist on “my way” over and over again. I fail to recognize the possibility of something more, something much grander than what I have experienced before. What a shame that our limited worldview and desire for independence can deprive us of great and amazing experiences with our Papa.

Father’s joy – by Lei

One Jaiden’s favorite thing to do is to climb stairs. No matter where we go, he always run to the closet stairs he sees and attempt to conquer it. My favorite thing is when Jaiden reach out his hand to hold mine while conquering the world filled with stairs.

Everyone likes the feeling of being wanted. For a father, there is no greater joy then for his child to run to him and ask for help. As Jaiden gets older, there are stairs he can easily do on his own without my help but I gladly offer my hand when he asks for mine. I know someday Jaiden will think he no longer needs me or he think he is better without me. Regardless, I will celebrate each time he asks me to participate in his attempt to conquer the big and small obstacles of life.

Learning from my 1 year old - by Lei

Every baby has their favorite words. Other than “mama” and “baba”, Jaiden’s favorite things to say are “no no”, “all done”, “please”, “pray” and “amen”.

I am not a big fan of the word “no” but I am quite surprised how often Jaiden says ”pray” in the way that asks us to join him and help him pray. We started to pray with Jaiden before meals and each night before he goes to sleep. I love the way he says “amen” after our prayers…he proclaims it boldly!

As someone who desires to grow in my faith, one of my weakest disciplines is prayer. I often find more reasons to not pray than to spend time speaking with God. There always seem to be more emails, more ESPN, more of something to do than praying. Perhaps Jaiden’s frequent request for us to pray with him is a lesson I need to learn.

Recently, a few of our close family members and friends are going through extremely difficult health challenges. We can’t help but to feel powerless in our ability to help and support those who are hurting. As I trust that God is one who creates life and heals, Jaiden’s favorite words challenges me to lift my fears and hopes to God. No one can fully explain the logic and power of prayer but perhaps a 1 year old boy knows better than his daddy.

Praying for a nut

I have never experienced any close to death experience in my life. However, recently a small metal nut put me in this exact situation as it was the only thing that kept my Jeep from falling off of a cliff in a snow storm.

In May I joined a team to travel to Western Tibetan region of China for a volunteer project. In 2010, Yushu was devastated by 7.1 magnitude earthquake. Reconstruction has been very slow partly because Yushu sits at 4000 meters (2.5miles) above sea level.

Our team started off on the 2 day drive on a slow climb from the capital city of Qinghai province towards the Yushu region. On the second day of our drive, our Jeep broke down for the 3rd time and this time we lost a majority of our car’s steering ability when a metal nut holding the steering axel fell off. Luckily I was able to safely pull the Jeep over off of the main road as it was traveling about 40-50mph.


We were in the middle of mountain and at least a 1 hr drive from the last gas station. There was no way we could backtrack on the road to find the missing nut. In such situation praying for nut to fall from the sky seems ridiculous. We used plastic zip-ties to hold the steering axel in place and cruised a few miles down the mountain road and found a small construction site where some trucks were parked. After negotiating our way into the construction site, we miraculously found the one nut fitting the size we desired. The nut was not a perfect fit as it was not designed for the car steering axel as it barely held on.


With a patched up steering system, we kept on driving. Due to the multiple car troubles that day, we hit the highest mountain (4800 meters) on our way to Yushu at about midnight and it was snowing hard at the top of the mountain.
The combination of high altitude and 14 hrs of driving resulted in pounding headache, fever and body ache. As we drove on, all I could think about was the almost fitting metal nut under my Jeep that is giving me the ability to steer. In the snow, the Jeep swayed back and forth. On several occasions, I wasn’t sure if the Jeep was skidding on ice or the nut came lose. I prayed for that metal nut to just hold on for a few more hours so that we could finish our drive.




I often hear people wonder if they are important and if what they do really matters to others. I also sometimes wonder how important my job is and if I am making any difference in this big world. As I survived the most challenging drive of my life, I realized just how important a simple metal nut is to those who dependent on it to do its job.

Rockstar or ugly duckling? – By Lei

It is so funny to watch the reactions of people on the street as we walk by with Jaiden in his stroller. I would pay money to know what these people are thinking.

• Some smiles like they just saw the cutest thing ever
• Some looks shocked. They continue walking but keeps their eyes fixed on the strange thing in the stroller
• Some quickly alerts their walking companion and say “look look look”
• Some looks at Jaiden, looks at us and then back to Jaiden. They are probably thinking “what are these parents doing? Giving a baby a big hat in this 90 degree temperature”
• Some looks at Jaiden with extreme pity. They probably think the boys has a serious medical condition

Understanding God through the eyes of a worldly father - By Lei

Blocked by the helmet by Lei


One of my favorite father & son activities so far has been kissing Jaiden wildly on his soft and chubby cheeks. It is a moment I look forward to daily if not hourly. Recently due to a flat head condition, Jaiden now has to wear a custom made helmet to reshape his head. Jaiden looks very cute in the helmet but the helmet has limited my access to his big cheeks. The discovery of this obstacle was a shocking and sad one for me. I sometimes hit my nose on the plastic shell of the helmet as I try to kiss Jaiden. Though this is a short-term and minor “condition”, I can’t help but to wonder: what are the conditions we have that prevent us from connecting with our heavenly father? How do these obstacles make God feel as he desires to connect with us?


See attached picture for the cool helmet that Jaiden will likely have to wear for next 3-4 months (23 hrs a day)

Home again and ready for a new season - by Jaiden Zakai

Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!!
Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!! Go RedSox!!